Ok Bri, you are NOT 'very old now'. But as someone older than you I hard agree with the fact that when a man 'says to you that you’re ‘mature for your age’ what he is really saying is that he is too immature for women his age'. It is true. Also, for all the 18 years olds out there, you may very well find a man my age will hit on you. As Bri said, get you want out of it. My youthful experience tells me they come with way better wine and a comfortable ride home, but everything else is not worth it.
As an interstate reader/shift worker, I am so happy that you are going to record your livestreams. And I am looking forward to the one in July as I was keen to learn your approach to keeping a diary/note taking.
So many thought bubbles from this edition🫧 . I looked after my dying grandma when I was 21, I’d always been told I was too young to “deal with all that” at the time but I didn’t necessarily feel that way.
Reading Astrid’s essay made me reflect on that experience in ways I hadn’t before - I’ve been able to reframe it in a more positive light that feels more respectful to the full person my amazing nan was. Thanks for that.
I also loved this advice from Bri:
If you can delight in learning new things then for your whole entire life you will be capable of finding joy. Learning can be solo or with a lover or with friends. Learning can be light or heavy. All it takes is an acknowledgment that you do not currently know, but you would like to know. Then you will like it. Ta-da! The meaning of life! It actually doesn’t have to be any more complicated than that.
What an extraordinary experience. It's surprising how little literature there is about caring and care work. The response to Astrid's piece has been huge, and with an ageing population more of us will be caring more and more. I'm glad you got so much out of the newsletter. And thank you for sharing. 😊🧡
Gosh, what a newsletter. As someone caring for an ailing parent and trying to parent teenagers, there were sap many levels. Astrid, the language in your writing is beautiful and so insightful. Thank you for shedding a light on caring and the many aspects to it - I hadn’t thought before about how under-represented it is in writing. And thank you for including the link to Sarah Holland-Batt’s submission - agree it’s a devastating read.
Bri, such a great take on the question and agree with other comments here that the advice applies at many/all ages! I look forward to discussing it with my teenagers and referring back to it often. Love how much thought you put into it too and shared how you’d started a few times.
Newsletter days really are the best days! And yay for the livestream!!
Astrid, your points about the spare room as thinly veiled memoir/ quasi journalism have me wondering - it would be fascinating to know how/ why decisions were made by either the publisher or author to market the story as novel? Was new Garner fiction more palatable/ sellable than a carer’s memoir? And if that’s true, to play both sides here, is it so terrible if it still Trojan-horses a story about caring in reader’s mind?
Absolutely agree caring work is feminised and diminished and it was gratifying to see it acknowledged in Aus lit (I cared for my Dad too, it was life-altering)
I read this around the time it was published and was awed by the writing but knew I didn’t ‘enjoy’ it, rather stunned by it. Which is also a mark of great work.
Garner received so much criticism in her early career for non-fiction. I've seen theories she started to write 'novels' to give herself a shield. It is harder to criticise fiction, when theoretically it is all made up, than it is to criticise what is a factual interpretation. So there could be a degree of self-protection in there.
I think Trojan-horsing ideas in fiction is great! Bring it on! I just think a work, whether fact or fiction, should always be respectful, and I don't think The Spare Room holds up in that regard.
I also think there's a difference between a character acting disrespectfully, and a work itself being a disrespectful project. There's a lot of lazy criticism out there suggesting that a character using a slur, or being an asshole, automatically means the work itself is unethical. Sometimes it can be true that both the character AND the book are disrespectful, but not always.
In the first ep of the new Schwarz media podcast Read This, Garner says she had no part in deciding how to market her writing, whether as novels or what. Her publisher made the decisions
Okay so I went and listened to check this, and couldn't find the part you're referring to. Do you have a timestamp? Also, she says that The Children's Bach is 'technically the best thing I've ever written'. Fascinating!
I suppose my reply is that marketing is different to actual genre definition. Especially for someone as huge as Garner. No way someone else would tell her that her book is a 'novel' not a 'memoir'. They definitely might say 'do this interview' or 'this blurb is better' or 'these covers are happening for the reprints'... but not 'this can't be non-fiction'.
No, I couldn't tell you what time it was. I listened a couple of days ago. She said something like it was always just writing to her and somebody else put the label on it.
And yes, her comments about Children's Bach were interesting. I think she also said something like she didn't know how she did it. Which is both inspiring and frustrating.
If you’re investing in skincare (especially actives etc.) and SPF is not a cornerstone of your routine, then you’re throwing your money down the drain.
I’m constantly overwhelmed by skincare. I’m running out of my current products and I can’t bring myself to try new ones even though I know there is probably better stuff out there
Wholly relate! I hate trying new products and feeling letdown too - especially when there are some expensive products out there!
I’ve realised to predominately stick to what works - especially when it comes to actives/serums. I’m more likely to try new cleansers/moisturisers as they’re a bit more forgiving. But will rarely buy a product now if I haven’t had a trial/tester before committing to the full size.
Omg I listened to the audiobook of the spare room (free on the abc listen app!), and had no idea it calls itself a novel! I just assumed it was autobiographical. This was a fascinating read.
Love the 18things, and love the idea of a live stream (especially with a recording to watch later).
Substack now lets me upload a video directly into/as a post, so I think I'll try to record the livestream then just have it live on the N&R site, paywalled, for about a month afterwards.
I have been reading some interesting writing that is ‘biography adjacent’ recently and found the genre tension really interesting.
Audre Lorde’s Zami is a “biomythography” and brings together reflection, myth making, truth, poetry and fiction in a way that was both beautiful and disconcerting.
What is truth? What is myth? And why do I feel like it’s so important to know??
Sometimes in texts like that (The Argonauts by Maggie Nelson is another that comes to mind) where there are clearly autobiographical elements but also fiction I find myself distracted by detective work - “but is this the REAL bit?” - and missing the point.
I look forward to reading The Spare Room and seeing how it feels.
That was a genuine question, because I thought maybe I had misread it.
I think it makes the relationship more unconventional. And interesting how Elizabeth takes on a mothering role towards the end, doesn't she? She's kind of left to care for her while Phillip's being Phillip. And it seemed like Elizabeth was a person who had resisted that role, she's not even particularly nurturing to her much younger sister.
I just saw in Ben Lerner's introduction that he refers to Poppy as 'Phillip's daughter', not 'their daughter'. And you're right that it makes Elizabeth more complicated and interesting, because she sort of opts-in to mothering Poppy but appears to have opted-out of mothering her much younger sister.
I’m 42. We’re only ancient when we stop learning or growing or trying new things! Then, we’re stuffed.
Ok Bri, you are NOT 'very old now'. But as someone older than you I hard agree with the fact that when a man 'says to you that you’re ‘mature for your age’ what he is really saying is that he is too immature for women his age'. It is true. Also, for all the 18 years olds out there, you may very well find a man my age will hit on you. As Bri said, get you want out of it. My youthful experience tells me they come with way better wine and a comfortable ride home, but everything else is not worth it.
Haha I remember when I was 18 though, I thought 30 year olds were ANCIENT! And yes re: wine lol.
As an interstate reader/shift worker, I am so happy that you are going to record your livestreams. And I am looking forward to the one in July as I was keen to learn your approach to keeping a diary/note taking.
Thanks for the positive feedback, Erin!
So many thought bubbles from this edition🫧 . I looked after my dying grandma when I was 21, I’d always been told I was too young to “deal with all that” at the time but I didn’t necessarily feel that way.
Reading Astrid’s essay made me reflect on that experience in ways I hadn’t before - I’ve been able to reframe it in a more positive light that feels more respectful to the full person my amazing nan was. Thanks for that.
I also loved this advice from Bri:
If you can delight in learning new things then for your whole entire life you will be capable of finding joy. Learning can be solo or with a lover or with friends. Learning can be light or heavy. All it takes is an acknowledgment that you do not currently know, but you would like to know. Then you will like it. Ta-da! The meaning of life! It actually doesn’t have to be any more complicated than that.
What an extraordinary experience. It's surprising how little literature there is about caring and care work. The response to Astrid's piece has been huge, and with an ageing population more of us will be caring more and more. I'm glad you got so much out of the newsletter. And thank you for sharing. 😊🧡
Gosh, what a newsletter. As someone caring for an ailing parent and trying to parent teenagers, there were sap many levels. Astrid, the language in your writing is beautiful and so insightful. Thank you for shedding a light on caring and the many aspects to it - I hadn’t thought before about how under-represented it is in writing. And thank you for including the link to Sarah Holland-Batt’s submission - agree it’s a devastating read.
Bri, such a great take on the question and agree with other comments here that the advice applies at many/all ages! I look forward to discussing it with my teenagers and referring back to it often. Love how much thought you put into it too and shared how you’d started a few times.
Newsletter days really are the best days! And yay for the livestream!!
NEWSLETTER DAYS ARE THE BEST DAYS 🧡🧡🧡
Thank you Ruanne. Caring is an entire world unto itself.
Astrid, your points about the spare room as thinly veiled memoir/ quasi journalism have me wondering - it would be fascinating to know how/ why decisions were made by either the publisher or author to market the story as novel? Was new Garner fiction more palatable/ sellable than a carer’s memoir? And if that’s true, to play both sides here, is it so terrible if it still Trojan-horses a story about caring in reader’s mind?
Absolutely agree caring work is feminised and diminished and it was gratifying to see it acknowledged in Aus lit (I cared for my Dad too, it was life-altering)
I read this around the time it was published and was awed by the writing but knew I didn’t ‘enjoy’ it, rather stunned by it. Which is also a mark of great work.
Bri I must read Childrens Bach now.
And I’m saving your 18 tips for my girls.
Bring on livestream!
Garner received so much criticism in her early career for non-fiction. I've seen theories she started to write 'novels' to give herself a shield. It is harder to criticise fiction, when theoretically it is all made up, than it is to criticise what is a factual interpretation. So there could be a degree of self-protection in there.
I think Trojan-horsing ideas in fiction is great! Bring it on! I just think a work, whether fact or fiction, should always be respectful, and I don't think The Spare Room holds up in that regard.
I also think there's a difference between a character acting disrespectfully, and a work itself being a disrespectful project. There's a lot of lazy criticism out there suggesting that a character using a slur, or being an asshole, automatically means the work itself is unethical. Sometimes it can be true that both the character AND the book are disrespectful, but not always.
In the first ep of the new Schwarz media podcast Read This, Garner says she had no part in deciding how to market her writing, whether as novels or what. Her publisher made the decisions
Okay so I went and listened to check this, and couldn't find the part you're referring to. Do you have a timestamp? Also, she says that The Children's Bach is 'technically the best thing I've ever written'. Fascinating!
I suppose my reply is that marketing is different to actual genre definition. Especially for someone as huge as Garner. No way someone else would tell her that her book is a 'novel' not a 'memoir'. They definitely might say 'do this interview' or 'this blurb is better' or 'these covers are happening for the reprints'... but not 'this can't be non-fiction'.
No, I couldn't tell you what time it was. I listened a couple of days ago. She said something like it was always just writing to her and somebody else put the label on it.
And yes, her comments about Children's Bach were interesting. I think she also said something like she didn't know how she did it. Which is both inspiring and frustrating.
And yasssssss SPF 50+ always and then some more!
If you’re investing in skincare (especially actives etc.) and SPF is not a cornerstone of your routine, then you’re throwing your money down the drain.
Wish I was told this much much earlier.
I’m constantly overwhelmed by skincare. I’m running out of my current products and I can’t bring myself to try new ones even though I know there is probably better stuff out there
Wholly relate! I hate trying new products and feeling letdown too - especially when there are some expensive products out there!
I’ve realised to predominately stick to what works - especially when it comes to actives/serums. I’m more likely to try new cleansers/moisturisers as they’re a bit more forgiving. But will rarely buy a product now if I haven’t had a trial/tester before committing to the full size.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Astrid
Amazing piece. Amazing.
Thank you Rachel. 😊
Omg I listened to the audiobook of the spare room (free on the abc listen app!), and had no idea it calls itself a novel! I just assumed it was autobiographical. This was a fascinating read.
Love the 18things, and love the idea of a live stream (especially with a recording to watch later).
Substack now lets me upload a video directly into/as a post, so I think I'll try to record the livestream then just have it live on the N&R site, paywalled, for about a month afterwards.
I have been reading some interesting writing that is ‘biography adjacent’ recently and found the genre tension really interesting.
Audre Lorde’s Zami is a “biomythography” and brings together reflection, myth making, truth, poetry and fiction in a way that was both beautiful and disconcerting.
What is truth? What is myth? And why do I feel like it’s so important to know??
Sometimes in texts like that (The Argonauts by Maggie Nelson is another that comes to mind) where there are clearly autobiographical elements but also fiction I find myself distracted by detective work - “but is this the REAL bit?” - and missing the point.
I look forward to reading The Spare Room and seeing how it feels.
Just jumping in to say I also find it almost impossible not to constantly wonder "Is this the real bit??" in a mixed-label work.
And I need to read The Argonauts!
I should clarify I think it’s biography adjacent as it includes theory and scholarship, not fiction!!
I love The Argonauts
Several of those 18 things are things I should be reminding myself of, and I’m bloody 46! Which, it seems, makes me extra ancient ☺️
Again I found myself agreeing with Astrid, who articulated what I could not when I read the spare room and was left wanting something better.
Also keen for the livestream
Astrid is so good.
Thank you for the livestream- I can't wait as I was gutted to not be able to attend the in person event.
Also thanks to Astrid for the perspective on The Spare Room. It's the only Garner that I've read and I definitely have to re-read with this in mind.
Oh glad to hear you're keen for the livestream! 😊🧡👍
Bri, I didn't realise Elizabeth and Phillip had a daughter together - I thought it was just Phillip's daughter?
How about that, so she is! I just presumed her two parents no longer lived together. Do you think it makes a difference?
That was a genuine question, because I thought maybe I had misread it.
I think it makes the relationship more unconventional. And interesting how Elizabeth takes on a mothering role towards the end, doesn't she? She's kind of left to care for her while Phillip's being Phillip. And it seemed like Elizabeth was a person who had resisted that role, she's not even particularly nurturing to her much younger sister.
I just saw in Ben Lerner's introduction that he refers to Poppy as 'Phillip's daughter', not 'their daughter'. And you're right that it makes Elizabeth more complicated and interesting, because she sort of opts-in to mothering Poppy but appears to have opted-out of mothering her much younger sister.